stranger vision

Ugh, we're here again.

This is the cloudy zone. Not unlike the twilight zone but lacking the gremlin on the wing. You're probably too young to get that.

So, after an evening of fun and beverages this Easter weekend, I woke with a gnawing headache. When I woke at four in the morning, I assumed the pointy objects developing behind my eyes were the beginnings of a day of feeling pale.

The night before, we went for drinks with two friends and that turned into a ten-person evening at their place. You see where this is going. Anyone who knows me well knows I have terrible social anxiety, particularly if I go into a social situation expecting one thing and it turns into another, regardless of how lovely the people involved may be. My two beer turned into a glass or so of unexpected wine.

But, it wasn't a mother of a hangover at all. Turns out I still have MS. 

Damn.

It was the start of optic neuritis. Again. Round 4.

The first time I had optic neuritis [ON from here on] was pretty scary. It's beyond unsettling to suddenly have reduced vision, and the saturation difference is eerie. If you wear contacts, having ON, once the pain dissipates, assuming it dissipates, is like having only one contact in…for months. Your depth perception gets screwy.

Like all three previous bouts with ON, this round only affects my left eye. I suppose that's a silver lining, but I'm not looking for rainbows and sunshine about it yet. I'm still in the upset stage. No tantrums or wailing and I know the anger will pass quickly, but if I don't respect the emotion behind this, it'll linger even longer. I'm all about the shortest route to being okay.

Things I had forgotten about optic neuritis:

• Just how painful it is at first. I could barely stand the feel of an ice pack against my eye. The pain is much more manageable now. Almost gone.
• I bump into things on my left at first onset. I get a bruised elbow, shoulder, and hip. Tonight at 9, "when door frames attack".
• I have to be careful about placing drinks to my left or I'll send them flying. 
• It's nauseating at first. 
• Typing and reading are weird. I read left to right, obvs, and it's like the words get clearer as the sentence grows.
• I randomly find myself closing my alternating eye/s for comparison and look like I'm flirting with the rocking chair.

Attractive.

I'm not altogether sure what triggered this. I had a few days of drinking to some excess while in SJ. Sort of an "I don't get to do this often" mentality while thoroughly enjoying the company of close friends. Whether that set it off or not, who knows, but I am back on track. 

On the way home to New Denmark, we stopped at a great Asian market I used to visit all the time. I felt like Darryl Dixon on a supply run - basically racing up and down the aisles, grabbing one of everything. Finding options that we can't find in this region is like winning a teeny lottery. I see a lot of sour soups in the upcoming weeks. We've already worked through the jackfruit. 

 

So, that's where I am. Slacking at the blog. Processing a lot of emotion from late last year that flew by in a blur. Writing a lot of poetry. Trying to gather a story or several about the place we live now. Floundering about on social media. My interest in Facebook is at an all-time low, so I find myself posting more elsewhere.

The walking is going well. We'll be ready for the long days in Ireland well ahead of schedule. One thing this area has plenty of is space, so I've been taking advantage. My cardio is still cow shite, but it's coming. 

We bought new boxing pads when visiting the Princess of Power and fam, so that's working its way back into a routine as of this week. 

That's what's new with me. Peace out. I'm off to watch something on Netflix and snuggle with superwifey. 

xo