In light of World MS Day, let me take a moment to talk about my least favourite question: How are you feeling?
(Close seconds being "how is your body?" [shudder] or "How is your MS?")
Don't get me wrong, I love how supportive my people are. I have super friends and family and the most amazing girl in the world behind me. But, for the life of me, I can't figure out how to answer this question. No one actually wants to hear "Well, I haven't felt my right shin in I dunno how long...and man, grabbing hold of the right word in the right moment is becoming increasingly harder." No one wants to read the boring litany of new MS research studies that never make it past studies on Mickey and Minnie.
This isn't a flu. It's not a cracked bone that can mend or a wound that will close. It's not like there's an -ectomy or -otomy to remove what I have. The answer is never truly "fine" - that would be a constant lie. Nor do I want to talk about my every twinge and ailment. So, what is there to say?
This disease will be with me for the rest of my very (universe-willing) long life. MS is chronic and progressive. I will, most inevitably, decline at some point. Marking that decline through small talk isn't high on my list of things to do.
My life is different. I've been rewired head-to-toe by a drunken electrician. Life is good but it is often a multitude of tiny struggles that defy description.
So, if you're wondering how I am, ask how I am. Please don't ask me how I'm feeling.