Thursday, 14 October 2010

Time to visit the cactus

I have my annual neurologist appointment tomorrow.

Once I touch my nose with my eyes closed, walk a straight line, and do some reflex testing (almost kicked him where the sun doesn't shine one - geez don't stand in front of me and whack my knee!), I plan on asking him what his thoughts are on CCSVI. I've always liked my neuro, so I'm a bit nervous that he'll shut me down. I'm not looking for someone to say "yes, I believe this is 100% useful and will completely prevent further damage to your nervous system." I just want to know that he's listening closely to the ongoing conversation on the topic. I know that he has sent patients for MRV testing in the past, so we'll see how it goes.

I'm strangely comforted that this man keeps a variety of cactus plants in his office. I like that there aren't frilly plants or pastel paintings meant to put me at ease. I like directness. My neuro is direct. He's a cactus.

Semi-related, is it crazy that my biggest fear is he'll suggest another MRI? Yep, brain and spine could have more damage, but that damn box kills me. I watched the rescue of the Chilean miners with one eye closed whenever they showed shots of the men underground. I don't like elevators or tunnels. MRI machines are not my friends.

As my appointment approaches, I always take time to reflect on the past year. I spent a few months this winter with electric legs whenever I worked out and looked down. I've started feeling the dreaded fatigue now and then (not often, touch wood). But, all in all, I've been very fortunate so far. Sure, MS sucks. I have frustrated moments and can't help but worry over my future, but my body's path is not set in stone and I do what I can to take care of it.

I'm a technology nerd, a lover of the great outdoors, an amateur photographer with bad horizon lines, and a writer of bad poetry...but, that's it.

I'll keep on top of all areas of research, not just CCSVI, but I will never take on the role of an MS patient.

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